Lies and Betrayel
by MikoKagome1113
Summary: She was betayed. He lied to her, made her feel useless and then tossed her to be eaten away. In her eyes, they all are the same. Never again can she allow herself to fall through that pain. Disclaimer: This story in no way has any ties to the original CCS


Well...i hope you like this. Even though there are few lines, and no names are given, it is becasue i want you to use your imagination. Think about the charactors in this, and imaginate who they could possibly be.

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So...this is how it must end huh? You know, i honestly thought it would go far, way farther then it had. I guess i was wrong...

He was truly my first love. Of course, i was young, and stupid, and didnt know how to control my feelings. That is when i started to shun him out i guess...i was so afraid of losing him that i always blanked out in the middle of the day, thinking of what it would be like. Although i never actually was afraid of losing him, cause of all the times he had said his i love you's. I suppose he meant them, in a sense. But when it came right down to it, not once did he look me in the eye and say it to me straight. The only time he had even come close to saying it to me straight was our first kiss...That night..so many wonderful, yet painful memories...

It was just another sunday. My friend had a very controlling mother, and her mom didnt trust her daughter to be out on a friday with a bunch of other teenagers, so she invited her two closest friends to the movies with her on a sunday. Of course, we all went. We went to see Taladega nights at the AMC. It was hilarious, and we all had a blast. Soon, it was time for us to leave, because my friends mother wouldnt let her out late. Well, after she left, it was only me and him. He had just gotten a new house over by our school, and his mom invited me over. After the movies, i was to go to his house, and look around. Even help reorganize some stuff. Yes, his mother trusted me. Anyways...i got to his house only a few minutes after my other friend had departed..and i was stunned. The house had only been lived in for two days, and already everything was put together. Not a single box was in sight. Guess they didnt really need me, but i _did_ help put a new carpet in his room that his mom had bought that day.

He is a major guitarist. Thats his dream, to become a a lead guitarist on stage, with millions of fans. I fully supported this dream. Over the many phone conversations, he had let me listen to his talents, and he even sang a few songs for me. For me...and only me..

Once he showed me round the house, he led me to his room. It was neat, and had a huge bed in the middle. I gawked. He had told me that his bed was cursed, because as soon as he had slept on it, it was like heaven in the privacy of his room. I couldnt wait, i nearly jumped ontop of it, and snuggled up close to the blankets. It _was _like heaven..indeed! As i lay there, he quietly grabs his guitar, and sits on the edge of the bed. He begins to play his favorite songs, mostly from Avenged Sevenfold. My favorite song to hear him play, was Bat country. I requested it, and he played. Even did a little singing. All the while, i could see him looking down at me nervously, as i snuggled closly to the comfort of his bed, and his soft melodic guitar. A second later, he took my hand in his..it felt so..right. His was a rough, scratched hand, against my soft, lotioned palm. You could feel the difference, but it was like two peices of a puzzle, finally fitting together.

He lifted my hands up high, and looked at me deeply in the eyes. He asked me if i was sleepy. I answered him by nodding. He tightend his grip, and made me promise i wouldnt fall asleep. I laughed at his seriousness. The humor danced in his eyes as he claimed he was dead serious. Apparently he didnt want to carry me out of his room once his mom was out of the shower and ready to take me home. I giggled, and promised him for the upteenth time that i would **NOT** fall asleep. He let my hand fall, and nodded, then got back to playing. We could both feel the tension. We had talked about this on the phone, when i would come and visit his home. We had had encounters where we were both alone, and he had kissed me on the cheek before, but next time, he told me it might not just be a kiss. Yes, he even said he might not be able to control himself, if i were to get too close. He might pull me closer and...well, i think you can get the idea.

Thinking of this memory, i blushed. I had hoped, that that night i would get my first kiss. I had prayed, that it would come from him. I snuggled back into the blankets, and hid my blush. He noticed, and poked me playfully on the side. I yelped a lil, and he laughed. He continued this small game until i had gotten a phone call. it was my mother. i had to explain to her that his mom would get me home in about 30 minutes. After i hung up, i closed my phone, and he poked me again. I took my phone, and poked him for the first time with the antenna of the cell. He looked at me confused. I just laughed, and poked him again. He yelped a lil.

Ah, i had found his tickle spot!

Just as i had begun to poke him once more, i had dropped my phone. Instead of retreving it, i just used my finger to poke him slighty. Before i could even get near his stomach, he grabbed my hand once more. That wonderful feeling returned..i looked up at him confused. He carassed my hand gently, as if observing, memorizing every inch of it. Then he held a grip so firm, yet so lovingly, i had to stare. He smiled at my confusion, and let go of my hand.

He stood up to put his guitar away, and jumped back onto the bed. He rolled right next to me, propped up on his elbows. I simply rolled to the other side, and faced him. We had our eyes locked. I could see it in him. I knew what he wanted, and i knew he wanted it bad. I knew i even wanted him to want it. I wanted it too. We both simply sat ..Layed...there for a second, blinking at our sudden feelings.

He sat up a bit, and quickly, in one swift move, kissed my cheek. He paused there for a second, then moved to my lips. It was only a second or so, but that one moment in life, when he had his lips touching mine for the first time, i shall never be able to release from my mind, no matter how painful, or joyful those feelings can get.

I sat there, wide eyed. He simply lied back into his original position, and smirked.

That damn smirk.

I will never get away from that smirk.

" You know i _HAD_ to do that." he simply stated.

I gave him back a confused face, and he got up, and sat at the edge of the bed, motioning me to sit next to him. I got up, and did what i was told. As soon as i sat near him, he got up again. Sitting two inches away from him wasnt good enough, so he moved closer. Too close. I blushed. He leaned over me, and grabbed something from off of his bed desk. It was some type of paper, what it actually was, i cannot remember. I remember looking at the papers for a while, and talking about them. While we were going over them, his mother came in, and said all she had to do was get dressed ,and then she would take me home. i nodded, and she left. A dead silence came once she was gone. He didnt want me to leave, and frankly, neither did i.

Feeling a sudden burst of courage, i leaned my head against his should, and he leaned back into it. We both sighed, and i grabbed the papers once again. After that, it was like a quick motion. I had said something, asked something about the paper held infront of me, and as soon as i turned to face him, his face comes closer to mine. In one quick motion, i turn my head, and he kisses my nose. He slightly frowns at his miss, and tries again, this time succeeding. His lips capture mine, in a longingly overwhelming embrace. I lean into it, feeling the kiss with all i could give. We sit there for a moment, enjoying this precious moment, when he breaks it, then kisses my cheek. He drops his head to my shoulder, and rests it there. I do the same, having the feeling of contentment. It didnt matter if that kiss lasted only for a few seconds.

We were there.

With each other.

In each others arms.

That was what mattered.

At that moment, he said those three, wonderful, yet painful, words i have ever heard in my life.

No, he did not look me in the eye. Yet, i still felt as if they were coming straight from the heart. Maybe thats just my brain telling me this. After all, a girls heart is way more warped then a boys heart. We look more into things, and feel them stronger then a guy would. Its the way we are built.

I gasped as i heard his precious 'i love you'

It was in such a whisper, but i could hear it perfectly. As i sat there, in complete shock, my mind raced. I did what my heart did, not what my mind did. Instantly, i said them back.

I told him i loved him.

I told him i would love him, forever and a day.

Boy, how stupid was i?

Now, i walk silently to my home, remembering all the times i had on the route. Walking from his house, after and eventful day. I remember that time, my first kiss. I remember the happiness when i was finally taken home. My mother was sitting in the livng room, watching a movie. I,of course, simply said my goodnights, and went straight to my room. Locking the door, i lept into my bed, and sighed. I could still fell it. The warmth, the touch, the ...love.

I even smelt his scent on me. His wonderful, lustful scent. Everytime he passed me, i could smell it. It was intoxicating. I felt as if i wanted to grab him right then and there and hold him till i felt necessary to let go. I loved that scent. I loved the man who wore that scent. And, even more importantly, i loved the way that scent was trailed off on me.

I chuckled to myself. What a fool i was. To be so blind to what was right infront of me. We had talked about it before, but he always said

" lets just wait it out, see what happens. After all, you never know what the future may hold."

Sure, part of that was true. But for him to be pleasing me, then another girl at the same time? Sure, he wasnt dating either of us. But he had said at one point or another that he loved us. He even told the other woman, that he would spend the rest of his life with her right then and there if he could.

Of course, i had had the same type of conversation with him too, only mine came much later then the first. Sure, it did always make me feel like i was being used, and part of it ended up being true..but still..in the back of my mind..i felt like i was number two. Like i was the side dish compared to the main course. I think to myself now and ask, why did i let myself be fooled by him? Why did i ever look into those deep eyes, and fall for his sweet words all over again.

I know im fragile. Right now, if he were to beg for forgiveness, fall to his knees, and exclaim that he has loved me always, i would probably give in. I know i would. That is how weak i am. I know it. Weak, pathetic for attempting so many times to try to get him back. Even though he said he didnt love me anymore. I was stupid. I didnt realize it.

He never loved me to begin with.

That is why he left. To be with her, someone whom he had never met. He left for someone he had had phone conversations with. Someone who had shown him a picture of a japanese school girl as her profile picture. Someone, who lived over 100,000 miles away. He said he loved her, truly. He had never met her. And, because of his, and mine, idiotic rants, she and him never made it. She broke it off with him over a text message within a month of our separation.

So, there he was. Alone. He had dropped all the other girls he had cared for, because he had felt he was ' unworthy' of being loved.

I say thats BullShit.

He was confused. A confused, and lonely child, who mixed the lusts of being a teeenager, with the love that one can truly feel.

And for that, he was punished.

His friends, now hate him. His newest additon to the girlfriend list is his only companion besides my ever loving friend who only wants to keep me and him together. He believes me and him can still be friends. He is naive. If he thinks, that i willl _**EVER**_ look at him the same way, he is sadly mistaken.

And all i can do, is feel sorry for him...

After that night, ending it over the phone. Saying he no longer loves my through a cell. That, was a pain, i never, ever, want to feel again. I had cried, on the phone with him, after i got off while i was on the phone with my dearest friend who knew i needed support. I cried, and cried. I never knew, i had it in me. It was like, all that i had kept inside of me. Everything he had done to me, everything, was being let out, overpoured by this one bawl.

I fell asleep crying over him.

Now, here i am, inside of my house, typing this story. This true, saddining story of a first love. A love, which is still lingering inside. No, i will no longer stand to be next to him.

No, i shall never look at him the same way again.

He lied to me, all this time, about loving me. About holding me. About kissing me.

It was all lies.

Lies, and Betrayel

I can never let this feeling go. As much as i want to, this helps me get stronger. I need to be strong in order to face that fact that every day for the past four years, i have been in a lie. He has been apart of my life for so long, it is only natural to shun him out in order to get used to him never coming back.

I must be strong. I have classes with him after all. I have to bear it, seeing him wrap his arms around his new victum. I try to turn away, but im forced to look. Not by anyone else but me.

I have no one to blame but myself.

All my fault. All my misery is my own fault, and i know that.

The best thing for me to do, is just stay low. Dont let anyone near you, i keep hearing that voice in the back of my head.

Dont let anyone in. Lock them out. You cant get hurt this way. If you expect nothing, you wll never be disappointed.

I listen to it. I have become bitter towards all men. They are all scum in my eyes. They are all liars.

I know, i have changed, but, i cant help it. I cannot help it. I couldnt help it.

Now, i can only live. Live to die, Live to wait. Wait for the one person, who will come, and reach for my hand,

but comes close enough to touch my heart.

_**That**_, will be the day.

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well? i hope you guys review! plz tell me what you thought of it. Im sort of freaked out cause this is the first time ive done something like this. RR plz

Miko


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